


POSTGAME

by KindaFrog



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-02-19 23:06:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13134093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KindaFrog/pseuds/KindaFrog
Summary: Kinda standard OC-trolls-play-sburb fanfic. But like with a dumb gimmick because the title has to be relevant, it's split between flashbacks of the trolls playing their session and the real plot which happens after they've won. It's going to be a pretty long story, so enjoy I guess.





	1. ACT  1 SCENE 1

Deep in a trench, three players crouched together. Grey light filtered down through the fabric above them, the fabric that they were all depending on to mask them from the monster that they were hiding from. One of them weeped silently, trying to push away the memories of his home planet. It seemed like countless sweeps since he woke up uncontainably excited to play the game that they had all planned to start that day, messaging his matesprit as soon as he remembered that that very morning was their anniversary. But that world was gone, and the troll’s sobs grew steadily to a more audible level.  
Another sighed heavily. He was her friend of course, but Malkin really needed to get over the loss of their home planet, their old universe, everyone else they’d ever known… Ok, so maybe it was a pretty bad situation. But they’d already beat the game, so really they should be celebrating right now. That little shit had just had to go and destroy everything.  
The third troll stared despondently at the steep black wall she was leaning against. She should have been able to stop him. More than that, she should have seen what was happening to him. But she had been too focused on their quest, and now it seemed like that was going to amount to nothing anyway.  
However, that day when they had launched sgrub had not been sweeps ago. Two weeks ago, they had all been sleeping fitfully in their rooms back on Beforus. 

 

Liriad Cetane rolled around in the slime of her recuperacoon. Through the thick liquid she could hear her lusus signalling her to get up and feed it, but she had slept very badly. She was eventually motivated to rise and tend to the creature outside her hive only because of the knowledge that today it was going to happen. Not only this, but it was only 3 days before her wriggling day. She looked around the central core of her hive. There was her old husktop, still open on trollian, and in the background some literature she had been studying the night before. Liriad had an affinity for lengthy sagas through the medium of WEBCOMICS, and spent much of her free time perusing her favourites. The one thing she could say she was an even more avid fan of was fan-theories based on these aforementioned literate masterpieces, or “FAN-FICTION”. This particular story by “NookBeast004” detailed the forbidden romance between two young trolls from HoleSnark. She blushed indigo as her eyes caught a mention of buckets while skimming the website. Hastily closing the tab, she decided to message her friends about the SGRUB HYPE TRAIN. She also decided to stop thinking LOUDLY, cheaply imitating one of her favourite webcomics. Better get DB over with first. 

ReverieCanonised [RC] began trolling DispassionateBisectee [DB]

RC: heyyyyy!  
DB: suck my bulge  
RC: haha! s∅, sgrub t∅day right! when are y∅u installing it!  
DB: no seriously fck of f  
RC: c∅me on camena! the ∅ther tw∅ pr∅bably already have it! Y∅u d∅n’t want t∅ be stuck as PA’s server player, d∅ y∅u!(‘n’)  
DB: dont give a fuck  
RC: and listen t∅ him g∅ing ∅n ab∅ut h∅w red he is with vastra all the time!  
DB: who th fuck is vastra  
RC: hahaha! ∅k well make sure t∅ install it! i’m g∅ing t∅ get ∅n t∅ HH, c∅uld y∅u talk t∅ PA!  
DB: bye

ReverieCanonised [RC] ceased trolling DispassionateBisectee [DB]

Liriad leaned back and sighed. Although dealing with Camena was always difficult, it was her responsibility as a highblood to look out for her friends who were a little lower on the hemospectrum. Which was all of them. Even so, Camena especially was so aggressively reluctant to co-operate with anything. It made it very hard to organise something like a 4-player sgrub session. But as an indigo blood in a group of lowbloods, it fell on her to keep it all in line. And though she wouldn’t admit it to anyone, there was a part of Liriad that relished the responsibility.  
HH was another of her close friends, and one who she talked to more readily than Camena. He shared her enjoyment of comics, although his interests leant more to those of the inferior physical variety. Despite heavy efforts from her, he wouldn’t move on from the childish genre of troll superheroes to the greener lawnrings of romance-laden, glorious webcomics…  
Ahem. Sgrub. Yes that was what she was going to do. And with any luck, he’d reveal her surprise wriggling day present too. 

ReverieCanonised [RC] began trolling HeraclesHabitue [HH]

RC: heyy! (‘u’)

HH: oh hey liriad  
HH: whatSs going on  
HH: Ssgrub and Ssuch right

RC: yup! just th∅ught i’d check ∅n h∅w the installati∅n was g∅ing with y∅u!

HH: way ahead of you  
HH: got that Sshit all dl’ed already  
HH: good bandwidth yo

RC: nice g∅ing! s∅ d∅ y∅u want me t∅ be y∅ur server player then!

HH: oh uh  
HH: Sserver player?

RC: it’s like the player wh∅ h∅sts y∅ur game  
RC: they set it all up f∅r y∅u and make sure y∅u get started successfully!

HH: you need Ssomeone elSse to Sset up for you? It can’t be that complicated, lol

RC: y∅u’d be surprised! sgrub is g∅ing t∅ be very advanced! it’s meant t∅ be “the game t∅ end all games!” my friend praised it pretty highly!  
RC: s∅ uh any *news*?

HH: well if you’re aSsking  
HH: in cyclopSs-troll #57 he findSs thiSs inSsane crime deal going on with thiSs jadeblood cult it’Ss crazy man

RC: n∅ n∅t y∅ur silly c∅mics! ugh Kann∅s y∅u sh∅uld really read s∅mething a bit m∅re literate fr∅m time to time!

HH: oh  
HH: literate huh  
HH: literate like the Sstuff you Sstay up reading once your luSsuSs is aSsleep huh  
HH: “the girl Sslid her fingerSs up the other’Ss body, lingering to feel her tender…”

RC: SHUT UP KANN∅S!  
RC: ∅ml that’s just n∅t what it’s like!  
RC: i read w∅rks ∅f ficti∅n that expl∅re character relati∅nships bey∅nd h∅w they’re devel∅ped in can∅n t∅ gain a deeper understanding ∅f the character ∅verall ∅k!

HH: Ssuuuure 

RC: ugh! remember, i’m the ∅ne wh∅’s g∅ing t∅ be y∅ur server player! just set up the client!  
RC: and by the way, when i asked f∅r news i was implying the questi∅n ∅f whether y∅u’d remembered my eighth wriggling day! Which ∅f c∅urse y∅u haven’t!

ReverieCanonised [RC] ceased trolling HeraclesHabitue [HH]

An olive blooded troll exited trollian, his smile fading. He enjoyed trying to have some fun with Liriad, but now he’d just upset her. Why had he even thought she’d appreciate any joke he could come up with?  
Kannos Iscrot’s hive was mostly recognisable by the huge number of comic books piled on every available surface. He really liked comics. They were just the coolest thing ever. His friends were all pretty cool too, Liriad’s confidence and Malkin’s popularity. Even Camena had her whole badass thing. Kannos was pretty boring compared to them, in fact really he was the most uninteresting person he knew and-  
He cut off that train of thought. Not worth getting down over something as trivial as himself really. There were definitely other things he could do around his hive to distract himself! Like, uh, read some comics. He really liked them. They were just the coolest thing ever. Liriad didn’t think so though, and he was pretty sure most of his friends thought that superheroes were shallow and childish. Mostly they were too nice to say it though, his friends were pretty cool. Like comics.  
Flicking open a nearby issue of The Violet Musclebeast, he thought about how different his life would be if one day he went to open the door to his room only to find he could open the handle with his mind. Being a rust blood would be the best! Camena practically had superpowers herself really, although she had that whole strong silent thing about not using them. In fact most comics he read were based off real trolls who had had exceptionally strong abilities in the past. Kannos had an action figure beside his desk of a legendary indigo troll who had supposedly lived hundreds of sweeps ago and was still known for his improbable strength. Apparently the Imperatrix even knew him once! But that was probably just a rumour, better not to fantasise about something that more than likely never happened. He was also known for his affinity for archery, although supposedly he had never been able to keep his bows intact.  
Anyway, what had Liriad wanted him to do? Launch his client copy of sgrub, right. But… If he had understood what she was saying correctly, he had to run the server for one of their group too. There probably wasn’t any harm in messaging Malkin just to at least say hi, right?

HeraclesHabitue [HH] began trolling PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA]

HH: yooo malkin 

PA: SUP Kannos?  
PA: Is Liriad g<3tting you to sort out SGRUB d<3tails?

HH: ahaha, well like i gueSsSs she did aSsk  
HH: but itSs not like Sshe made me troll you  
HH: i juSst wanted to check on like how Sstuff iSs going yknow ahaha

PA: Pfff, ok Kannos. W<3ll I gu<3ss I’M doing ok.

HH: howSs, uh, vaSstra

PA: OH h<3’s as SW<3eT as usual.  
PA: H<3 s<3nt m<3 th<3 CUT<3ST pictur<3s this morning.  
PA: Uh don’t t<3ll anyon<3 I said that, it looks kinda CRINGY in r<3trospect…

HH: ahaha ok i gueSsSs  
HH: hey btw do you like want me to be your Sserver for Ssgrub, it’Ss ok if one of the otherSs already agreed but like hey if not i could lol

PA: W<3ll no on<3 <3lse has off<3red y<3t and you s<3em PR<3TTY <3ager, so go ah<3ad if you want.

HH: ahahahaha im not eager lol  
HH: juSst trying to be nice man haha  
HH: aha  
HH: Sso like do you have the client part downloaded already?

PA: Hmm. No I don’t y<3t, do YOU hav<3 a link?

HH: well Ssee there’Ss not exactly like a normal webSsite for it

PA: What?

HH: liriad haSs Ssome Sshady af connectionSs that hooked her up with Ssome private file for it that Sshe’Ss Ssending around to uSs  
HH: you’ll have to like aSsk her i gueSsSs Ssorry malkin

PA: No official w<3bsite? This s<3ems ODD Kannos…  
PA: Hav<3 non<3 of you consid<3red how ominous this is? It’s s<3nding CHILLS down my postur<3 pol<3\. 

HH: are you really worried? idk man

PA: Hardly. I just don’t want you bitching at M<3 onc<3 your husktop contracts a binary inf<3ction. 

HH: im Ssure it will all be fine! ESspecially if youre my client  
HH: coSs i mean like well juSst have a chill time right ahaha

PA: Um ok? ANYWAY thanks again for th<3 whol<3 s<3rver thing, imma go talk to Vastra now. S<3e you Kannos

PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA] ceased trolling HeraclesHabitue [HH]

HH: bye malkin!  
HH: oh

Kannos slammed his think pan into his palms. Uuuuuughhhh. He’d made a total mess of every single sentence. Malkin was probably laughing with Vastra about him right now. He’d never met Vastra but just at the thought the photos of him that Malkin just loved sending he felt a sickly anger rising inside him. There really wasn’t much that could annoy Kannos, but the faked cuteness and perfectly photogenic smile of that ochreblood were just stupid and childish. And the worst thing was how much Malkin loved him. It was obvious even to himself that Kannos’ feelings must be misguided when his best friend clearly saw so much in his matesprit. He just had to sit there and stare sullenly at his comics while Vastra was probably making snarky comments about him right this very moment, Malkin laughing along, talking about how draining Kannos was to be around, what a loser he was, how he’d just sit in his room reading fucking comic books and dreaming until he died.  
But that was ok. Kannos really liked comics.


	2. Act 1 Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summaries are overrated :[

Malkin Gazhal closed the open trollian tab, taking a moment to think before messaging Vastra. His hive was usually pretty nice just to look at. The kind of place people would just like to come and chill for a bit. He’d had a wild party a few nights ago though, and hadn’t gotten round to cleaning up all the smashed hydration cylinders and even some spilled sopor slime here and there. Honestly that kind of radness wasn’t even something he was usually into, but keeping up an image was important. It took work for someone who was technically a lowblood to get status, but obviously he had to look like he was just the relaxed host who didn’t really care. He couldn’t really mention any of this to the others either. They were his best friends and all, but they were a bit… Well, Liriad would be ok to be seen in public with. But even then, only because she was an indigo. Speaking of, he’d apparently had some pretty classy guests at the party last night, including a couple of purples. Opening up his compact communications grub, he flicked through some of the pictures that had been taken. Mhm, you could see a purple making out with a cobalt in the corner there, and the slime vat was visible too. Straight onto Nugbook.   
After posting the images and waiting a few seconds to see the positive response he knew they would instantly get, Malkin stood up to try tidy up the room a little. His cocoon was in the next room over, which had been locked for the party. Knowing some of the people who showed up he wouldn’t have been surprised to find it torn open and all the slime gone.   
He took out the framed picture of William Quirksworth from his desk drawer. Some of the highbloods might look on him with a little less respect if they knew about his passion for romantic poetry. And really even Malkin knew it was kind of pretentious and dumb. But Vastra seemed to think it was cute and he liked the poems Malkin wrote, so that was enough.   
Oh. He should probably message Vastra actually, he hadn’t seen him in person for a couple of days. 

PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA] began trolling IrrelevantSidecharacter [IS]

PA: H<3Y th<3re Vastra!

IS: ooh heyyy!  
IS: best waay to waake up

PA: Oh SORRY, w<3re you still asl<3ep?

IS: pssh its not eeven tertiary meealtime yet noo waay i’d be awaake   
IS: ;)

PA: Of COURS<3, how could I b<3 SO naiv<3? ;)

IS: sooooo hows the cleanup going  
IS: you haaven’t inviited me oover to help cleean yet so i’ll assuume i didn’t maake enough of a mess  
IS: wanna fix that todaay ;)

PA: Oh SORRY bby, Liriad, Kannos and Cam<3na want<3d to play som<3 gam<3 with m<3 today and I got dragg<3d into promising th<3m.

IS: eewwwww you’d rather plaay some gaame with thoose nerds than plaay something a lot moore fun with mee ? ;)

PA: AAAGH sorry Vastra I R<3ALLY promis<3d th<3m…  
PA: H<3y th<3re’s always TOMORROW right?

IS: hmf ;(  
IS: i guess  
IS: yoou better at leeast have written one of thoose adoorable nerd pooems for mee 

PA: Oh don’t worry I was up ALL NIGHT p<3rfecting it.

IS: aawwww you’re soo sweeet you’d do that for mee

PA: Anything for you Vastra.  
PA: “Th<3 r<3d sun BURNS  
And though it could SCORCH my <3yes as a flam<3 lights dri<3d w<3eds  
It do<3s not compar<3 to th<3 FLAM<3 in my pump biscuit wh<3n my <3yes fall upon YOUR fac<3”

IS: oml   
IS: that’s soo cringy and i loove it  
IS: well doon’t leeave me at thaat >:(

PA: “th<3 r<3d sun swallows TIM<3 as this rock swims slowly around it  
Lik<3 a t<3ntative wiggl<3r, unsur<3 of its lusus  
Unabl<3 to find TRUST within its<3lf  
And though a thousand sw<3eps pass  
My LOV<3 for you is as unchanging as that sun”

IS: woow it’s deefinitely an improovement!  
IS: still kiinda cliched buut hey you knoow what I like ;)

PA: Aw I’m SO glad you <3njoyed it!

IS: you’re soo cuute Malkin   
IS: go plaay that gaame with your nerd friends noow, i actually have to be somewhere anywaay todaay

PA: I lov<3 you Vastra! TTYL

IS: ly Malkin

IrrelevantSidecharacter [IS] ceased trolling PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA]

Opening up one of the many pictures of him and Vastra he had saved, Malkin smiled a little. Him and Vastra had been red for almost half a sweep now. Really he could date a lot higher in the hemospectrum, there were loads of highbloods that would go out with him and he knew he was a pretty attractive guy. But he really loved Vastra, regardless of blood colour. He cared more about him than any social status. He tried to express that in his poetry, he really tried to show Vastra how much he cared. But somehow Malkin didn’t really think he got it. The whole poetry thing was pretty dumb anyway.   
Still smiling at the thought of his matesprit, Malkin picked up a black ball off a shelf. This was some weird relic he’d bought off some old cobalt blood. Apparently “a notorious gamblignant had owned it in a forgotten time, ruthless as she was beautiful”. It had an oddly poetic sound to it that had gotten his interest a little. Anyway, when you asked it a question and shook it a random (and vague) answer would appear in the little clear panel. It was dumb, but like the poetry Malkin just loved the idea of it holding some hidden deeper meaning. And it actually looked kinda cool in a retro hipster way if anyone asked about it. He thought of something, and smiled again.

PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA] began trolling IrrelevantSidecharacter [IS]

PA: H<3y Vastra, ON<3 mor<3 thing.

IS: ?

PA: Giv<3 m<3 a qu<3stion to ask th<3 ball ;)

IS: pfff what are you eeven taalking about Malkin

PA: No, r<3ally.

IS: ok  
IS: aask it if we’ll be together foorever ;)

Malkin was now smiling widely. He shook the ball, and watched as some white text floated to the window and pressed against the surface. 

“My reply is no”

Malkin frowned. Way to kill the moment. It was just a stupid toy anyway, but….

Shaking the ball again, he envisioned another question: “Will he break up with me?”

“My reply is no”

“Will I break up with him then?”

“My reply is no”

Malkin’s smile was fading. It was clearly broken. And anyway it really was just a dumb toy. But there was one last thing weighing on his mind. 

“Is something going to happen to Vastra?”

“Without a doubt”

IS: soooo  
IS: what did it saay ;)

PA: It do<3sn’t matt<3r. It’s JUST a toy. 

IS: noooo i wanna knoow

PA: R<3ally Vastra it was a STUPID id<3a. 

IS: aww stop being all caagey, youre much less cute

PA: By<3 Vastra. 

IS: ugh youre actually annoying me stop being so chiildish

PA: BY<3\. 

 

PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA] ceased trolling IrrelevantSidecharacter [IS]

 

-

Camena leaned over the edge of her recuperacoon. Honestly she should have gotten up hours ago, but who gave a fuck. Not like she really had any reason to. She guessed she’d probably have to eat at some point. But even then that wasn’t entirely necessary, she could probably live till tomorrow. And she hadn’t bought any food for the last couple weeks either, so she had been living off some old grubsauce tubes in the back of the closest cupboard to her cocoon. Great life, right?  
Malkin was attempting to troll her but she wasn’t really bothered right now. Eventually the notifications would get so annoying she’d reply to shut him up, but that wasn’t happening yet. Honestly she didn’t really know why she was still friends with them all. Probably because she didn’t care enough to block them. Sigh.   
Camena’s hive was pretty bland. The walls were bare, the floor was empty and there weren’t any windows. Although that last one was probably because any amount of light from the beforan sun would burn her horribly. Being a rust blood, her skin was especially susceptible to permanent damage from its rays and her eyes would go blind instantly. Well the one that wasn’t already fucked would. Like she said, top quality life.  
Ugh Trollian kept pinging annoyingly. Guess it was finally time to reply to Malkin. 

PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA] began trolling   
DispassionateBisectee [DB]

PA: H<3y Cam<3na. Liriad wants us all to organis<3 th<3 sgrub stuff. So b<3fore you blow up at m<3 for annoying you, I’m going to b<3 th<3 s<3rver for your cli<3nt. So download it from th<3 link Liriad s<3nt. Th<3n m<3ssage h<3r and ask for d<3tails about b<3ing h<3r s<3rver play<3r. Thanks. 

DB: ok   
DB: leave me alone nw

PA: Y<3p I was just doing that. 

DB: go od  
DB: whos vstra

PA: Um, my mat<3sprit? I’v<3 told you all about Vastra b<3fore. 

DB: nope  
DB: also i dnt give a fuck anyway

PA: I gu<3ss it’s possibl<3 I n<3glected to t<3ll you. P<3rhaps b<3cause you t<3ll m<3 to fuck off wh<3never I talk to you.   
PA: Som<3thing to think about.

DB: fuck of f

DispassionateBisectee [DB] ceased trolling PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA]

Huh. Liriad had sent her something actually. She should probably like do that thing eventually. Maybe.   
Agh hunger pains were starting to kick in. She looked down at her ribcage, visible through her dark grey skin. Cringing slightly at how emaciated she looked, Camena forced herself to rise from her cocoon. She should probably put some clothes on too. But then again, really no point. She got up and walked to the door into her meal hub. Half of her lusus was sleeping against the hunger trunk, which was fine because it was empty. She wondered where the other half was. Probably sleeping too. It did a lot of fucking sleeping.   
There was a packet of very stale yeastgrub fingers on the otherwise empty table. She ate a couple before sitting down on the floor. Not really much else to do. She noticed something in the corner of her room, but didn’t have to look up to know that it was her ancient dipanda plush. She’d had it since she was a wiggler, and it was really her only belonging hence the not needing to check what it was. It had gotten pretty fucked up during the accident, but her lusus had attempted to fix it. It did a pretty terrible job, leaving her childhood comfort toy in a mangled state of stitches and and rips. Maybe two individual halves of a bamboobeast trying to work together through a linked mind weren’t the most ideal creature for fine sewing.   
She sat there for a while. It didn’t really matter for how long seeing as she was just going to sleep eventually anyway. Ugh, Malkin had wanted her to message Liriad. Their last exchange had been as friendly as usual, but at least Liriad pretended to make an effort. Social obligation kind of said she wasn’t allowed be a total prick to the lowest caste. 

DispassionateBisectee [DB] began trolling ReverieCanonised [RC]

DB: wtf is a srver

RC: ∅h hey Camena! h∅w are things!

DB: can you stop   
DB: i just have to set up a server for you to play this dumb game right

RC: yes y∅u d∅! thanks s∅ much f∅r c∅-∅perating Camena!  
RC: y∅u d∅wnl∅aded the files in the link i sent y∅u?

DB: they were a fucking mes s but yes i extrcted them al l into folders and merged the data into a game grb  
DB: thanks for making that so easy fr us 

RC: ∅k well all y∅u have t∅ d∅ is run the server! my client sh∅uld aut∅matically c∅nnect t∅ it t∅ c∅mplete the chain that c∅nnects the f∅ur sessions we’ll create!

DB: sounds way too complicated

RC: just wait till i tell y∅u t∅ run it, all ∅f us will have t∅ c∅nnect first!

DB: of course im lst  
DB: thnks so much liriad lysm best friends

RC: ugh, y∅u d∅n’t have t∅ be like this Camena  
RC: we really are friends!

DispassionateBisectee [DB] ceased trolling ReverieCanonised [RC]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's all the main characters introduced. And an irrelevantsidecharacter. And Camena exists now and I'm gonna taint my loyal following of no one's delicate personal opinions by saying she's cool eventually. So like, keep reading! Eventually a character will be cool! Whooooo


	3. Act 1 Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the quality might slightly dip here. Writing sburb mechanics when you're not strictly sticking to homestuck format is hard and I kind of tried to do everything a little rigidly. Later on I loosened up on how I incorporated homestuck rules and I feel like it probably gets better after this chapter. If you're invested enough in this to actually care, I'm completely shocked.

After tending to her lusus, Liriad sat down again at her husktop. With any luck her friends would have sorted out a server chain amongst themselves, so she could soon start the connections. She hadn’t fully informed her friends on what she’d heard about sgrub, but according to her source it was going to be amazing. Groundbreaking even. Assuming nothing had gone wrong in the communications she had somewhat orchestrated, she’d be able to simply troll Kannos and find out who was connecting to who. But first she thought she’d message her acquaintance, the one who had told her about sgrub.   
Liriad had a number of other online acquaintances who she talked to less frequently. Mostly met through online forums about fanfics. This guy was actually the author of one of her favourite fanfictions, a very ironic satire commenting on Beforus’ society based off a webcomic she hadn’t gotten around to reading yet. He was pretty in-depth when it came to the internet, and apparently he had found these files in an effort to hack into the heiress’ online accounts. According to him she had talked to her friends about finding them on the pink moon, and they were meant to be totally private. It seemed like complete MBS, but Liriad loved the idea of having anything to do with the rogue fuchsia blood. Regardless of the truth to his story, she might as well ask how his sgrub session was coming along. 

ReverieCanonised [RC] began trolling PlaceholderName [PN]

RC: Hey! S∅ h∅w’s sgrub g∅ing?  
RC: ∅ur sessi∅n is c∅ming t∅gether nicely!

PN: This shit is insane RC  
PN: Have your crew entered yet

RC: Entered?

PN: Ok so you haven’t   
PN: When it starts getting weird. Prototype your kernel ok  
PN: Jegus its not what I thought

RC: Is the game ∅k?

PN: Oh im fucking loving it  
PN: But uh   
PN: Might be a bit much to take in  
PN: Prototype your kernel and just enjoy it  
PN: Gtg, talk again sometime 

PlaceholderName [PN] ceased trolling ReverieCanonised [RC]

Well from his reaction it seemed to be living up to expectations. Liriad tried to picture what could possibly be so amazing. And what was a kernel?   
She heard a crash from another room in the hive. It was probably her lusus, but she should go and check the damage anyway. Walking into her kitchen, Liriad saw her enormous mastodon Lusus gesturing at a floating set of drawers held in place by a green cursor. 

DispassionateBisectee [DB] began trolling ReverieCanonised [RC]

DB: lmao gues s i con nected  
DB: so this is the game i get to fuck with your hive  
DB: man this is way less shitty than i thought

RC: this is the game? H∅w are y∅u m∅ving stuff!

DB: server copy bitch  
DB: enjoy getting served 

The chest crashed to the ground, with a few of the drawers getting impaled on her lusus’ tusks.   
The green cursor swooped towards Liriad, but thankfully Camena seemed to be unable to interact with her. 

DB: maan that sucks  
DB: this is still pretty terrible 

RC: camena can y∅u tell me what y∅u see in y∅ur interface? I still d∅n’t understand this at all!

DB: i guess i can deploy some important game stuff  
DB: like a fuckin cruxtruder whatever tf that is  
DB: but hell nah this is way more fun

RC: camena please I really think we sh∅uld advance the game!

Camena’s cursor exited the room in the direction of Liriad’s cocoon. Guessing what Camena was doing, Liriad rushed to her room. Camena already seemed to be attempting to rip her cocoon out of the ground, but wasn’t succeeding. 

DB: wtf is this grist shit  
DB: well guess i’m out of it anyway  
DB: and i can’t do anything  
DB: enjoy your broken game lmao

RC: what!! d∅n’t ruin this f∅r all ∅f us   
RC: y∅u can be s∅ darn selfish camena! the ∅thers and I just want t∅ have a fun time and y∅ure trying t∅ ruin it as usual! why d∅ I even b∅ther with y∅u!

DB: wait was that your attempt at an insult  
DB: lmfao  
DB: hey so im finally seeing you in person  
DB: and fuck liriad you should really stop sitting on your fat ass whining about some shitty game  
DB: emphasis on fat lmaoo

Liriad closed her husktop. A couple of tears, tinted indigo, rolled down her face. Fucking rust bloods. 

-

Honestly Camena couldn’t really say why she was like this to Liriad. Something somewhere inside her might have been annoyed, but searching for it would take so much. Easier to just pretend to react. And Liriad was kinda funny when she got upset.

-

Kannos stared at the screen he was watching. He had connected his server copy of sgrub’s to Malkin’s client and now had a complete view of his hive. It looked so cool, he had so many quirky ironically weird trinkets and things specifically placed to be conversation pieces. Then there were his nerdy pictures of romantic poets that he so adorably tried to hide. Uh, that was probably what Vastra thought anyway. Speaking of, Kannos seemed to be at his desk talking to Vastra through trollian. He was also messing with that really cool magic ball he had. Probably asking it something to do with the couple. Sighing, Kannos moved onto the next room. Probably best to just figure out the game without disturbing Malkin. Looking at the display, Kannos saw three main actions that seemed to be what he could do to manipulate the game. 

There was also a bar that counted how much ‘build grist’ he had. Might as well just try stuff out and hope he didn’t mess up too badly. Selecting the deploy option, he saw there were a couple of really complicated machines that he could apparently build for free. So it was a building game? Selecting one called a Totem Lathe, he dragged it out of the menu and it suddenly appeared in Malkin’s room on his screen. Surprised, he let go of the cursor and dropped it in place, crushing a chair under it. SHIT. Then again, this was obviously just a simulation, nothing to worry about. He went and checked on Malkin. He had stopped talking to Vastra and was angrily looking at the toy future-teller thing. He hadn’t noticed any noise from the next room over. Relieved, Kannos selected another machine called the Alchemiter and set it up beside the Lathe. What was with these names? If he ever became a superhero he would seriously consider calling himself ‘The Alchemiter’. Haha. Gog he was such a fucking nerd who even thought about stuff like that, he needed to grow up. He quickly dragged another item off the display and slammed it into the floor of Malkin’s hive. Also, halfway between two rooms. SHIT. The wall of Malkin’s hive was destroyed, a huge white desk-thing with a keyboard blocking the hole. Kannos checked back to see if his friend had noticed. He was staring at the hole, which had smashed through into his cocoon-room. SHIIIIT. 

PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA] began trolling HeraclesHabitue [HH]

PA: Uh, Kannos?  
PA: Did you… Conn<3ct to my gam<3?  
PA: And… Smash a hol<3 in my wall?

HH: uh, ahaha, im sorry Malkin it’Ss juSst weird controlSs and anyway itSs a builder type game im Ssure i can undo it  
HH: im really Ssorry im Ssuch an idiot

PA: Look it’s fin<3 Kannos, just fix my hom<3 pl<3ase.  
PA: How is this <3ven possibl<3? I know gam<3s like Flarp l<3t you do things lik<3 this but that’s mostly on a th<3oretical plan<3.

HH: ok fuck it takes too much griSst to move the deSsignix

PA: Grist? D<3signix?

HH: the game Sstuff ok   
HH: uuughhhh i cant fix it im Sso Ssorry

PA: K<3ep trying! You can’t l<3ave my hiv<3 lik<3 this.

HH: im Sso Ssorry   
HH: ill try deploying the laSst machine and Ssee if it giveSs me more griSst

PA: Th<3 last?   
PA: How many of th<3se things did you put into my hiv<3?

HH: itSs part of the game ok! i had to  
HH: liriad wantSs uSs to play properly

PA: Kannos you don’t sound lik<3 you know what you’r<3 doing. 

HH: ok i made a cruxtruder  
HH: i think you might need to turn them on

PA: That might b<3 <3asier if you hadn’t block<3d this door with som<3thing. 

HH: oh crap the cruxtruder iSs in front of that  
HH: hey uh Sstand back a Ssecond

PA: Kannos pl<3ase don’t try to br<3ak anoth<3r hol<3 in my wall.  
Malkin’s recuperacoon smashed through the wall, barely missing him.

HH: oh fuck Ssorry

PA: *int<3nse sigh*

-

Malkin walked through the large opening. The room was full of these complex white machines that Kannos must have created. 

HH: the one with the like funnel thing  
HH: thatSs the cruxtruder that blocked the door  
HH: Ssorry

PA: What do<3s it do? 

HH: idk  
HH: the game doeSsn’t Ssay

PA: :/

HH: juSst like uh  
HH: meSsSs around with it ig

PA: Kannos this is lit<3rally m<3ssing with my actual hiv<3!  
PA: Can you tak<3 this mor<3 s<3riously?! This is som<3 r<3ally big stuff.

HH: sorry 

He oberved his room. Kannos had pretty much destroyed it: there were scratches everywhere, and he seemed to have crushed a chair. And obviously the wall. Now, the cruxtruder. It was almost like a vault, with four screens and a closed funnel on top. There was a wheel attached to it too, which could apparently be turned. Malkin did not attempt to turn it. 

HH: hey uh  
HH: you could alwaySs try turning the wheel?

PA: W<3 hav<3 no id<3a what that could do Kannos. 

HH: it iSs juSst a game   
HH: nothing bad iSs really gonna happen   
HH: i think you might aSs well try, thiSs iSs probably like the tutorial before it getSs to combat and Sstuff and we can all connect and play together

PA: Wait 

HH: ?

PA: Hold on

Malkin had noticed something through a window. The sun was setting, so he could open his entire ceiling’s skylight to see the night sky above him. He flicked the switch and the panels retracted to reveal the night above him. The pink moon shone in the corner of his vision, and a couple of the closer stars let off an orange light. This was accentuated by the shower of meteors which was falling through the darkness, leaving a fiery glow in the air behind them as they raced towards what appeared to be the   
city just a few miles away. 

PA: You hav<3 to s<3e this.   
PA: https://imgur.com/Q5Lz7I8

HH: woah  
HH: man that lookSs Sso pretty

PA: Th<3y’re r<3ally low! I think th<3y might actually hit th<3 ground.

HH: That never happenSs man

PA: Th<3y look lik<3 th<3y’re h<3aded towards th<3 city.  
PA: I’ll brb, I n<3ed to m<3ssage Vastra to s<3e if <3verything is ok. 

PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA] ceased trolling HeraclesHabitue [HH]

Malkin ran over towards his husktop. Straight away, he saw a string of missed messages from his matesprit. He opened the chat with increasingly unsteady hands. In the distance he heard a deep boom.

IrrelevantSidecharacter [IS] began trolling PhonaestheticAutotroph [PA]

IS: maalkin bby soomething is haappening  
IS: can you seee theese meteoors  
IS: shiit thiis is baaad we haave to evacuaate  
IS: maalkin ok dont paanic  
IS: but a meteoor hit the ciity somewheere aand theere was like an earthquaake and i think some peeople are dead  
IS: and my roof collaapsed   
IS: and I caan’t get out  
IS: everyone is gone fuuck Malkin I need you to come like reeally faast  
IS: Malkin they’re falling help mee   
IS: there are fiires and more earthquaakes im soo scared malkin help  
IS: help me  
IS: pleease help  
IS: theres one coming for my hoouse  
IS: its tooo late its coming  
IS: where the fuuck were you

PA: Vastra?  
PA: Vastra answ<3r m<3  
PA: Vastra im sorry too please answer me  
PA: Vastra

Malkin’s hand clenched. He exhaled harshly, in something that could have been some scream of anguish if it had a bit more strength behind it. The world was hurting. 

-

PlaceholderName [PN] began trolling ReverieCanonised [RC]

PN: oh hey btw  
PN: i forgot to tell you  
PN: apparently when we started our session it started the armageddon or something  
PN: good luck lol

PlaceholderName [PN] ceased trolling ReverieCanonised [RC]

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look notes. Thanks to my friend who knows fuck-all about homestuck for proof reading this and giving very helpful criticism. He has an MHA fic which is pretty cool, look up A New Age of Heroes if you're into that. Also I wrote a lot of this in advance so new chapters coming soon.


End file.
